Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
