my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
