dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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