wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
