1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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