i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Houston, we have a blender
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
