I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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