bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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