lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
