I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
