the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
