Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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