Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
