then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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