i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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