just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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