Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
