By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
