Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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