i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
