Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now