I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?