I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You smell like a Billy Joel song
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.