Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...