the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
