she looked like the before picture.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
