I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
