Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
