he shaved USA in his pubs
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
