I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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