you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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