No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
