"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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