I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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