Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am available for nakedness
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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