This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
