so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
