Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
