Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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