no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
