My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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