Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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