Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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