dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
