Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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