yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
