she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
