it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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