I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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