Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
