Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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