just come out here and I will go home with you...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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