Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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