The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
