A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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