is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
