its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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