who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
