Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
