i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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