nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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