They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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