I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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