he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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